In a Word

I believe language matters. The individual words, body posture, tone, and energy injected into our language, to voice our message, matters. These components embody the intention and meaning we wish to convey. However, in our culture, certain words have become habit. I perceive this unconscious, habitual use of certain words to be analogous to a paper cut, and she who speaks, bleeds.

Three specific words come to mind. It's possible I've spoken of them before, yet, I feel compelled to share about these three presently. I sometimes need to be reminded of important lessons more than once - writing this to you will count as one of my own reminders. Thanks for coming along for the ride. Feel free to check in with yourself, to see if you're holding some sharp paper.

"Should"

This poisonous word smacks of judgment. Consider any time you have ever spoken a "should." Can you recall a message NOT laden with judgment of yourself or another? Judgment is different from discernment.

Discernment enables a person to choose - to notice differences, subtleties - and come to know what he/she wants. Discerning is a self-empowered stance, as it is without the violence of judgment or comparison, rather it supports moments of clarity. We engage our discernment muscles when we choose what fits for us (and what does not) born of our inner truth.

Conversely, when we feel we "should" do something, it stems from a sense of obligation and judgment about a black and white world of rights and wrongs. When we use the language of "should," we seek answers and validation outside of ourselves, rather than from within. In turn, we judge our own wants, needs, and choices - as well as those of others - by an outside barometer, and it wallops like a baseball bat to the belly.

To the best of my knowledge, no good ever came from "should," or his twin "supposed to," and I strive to eliminate both from my personal vocabulary. If this resonates with you, I encourage you to join me!

"Sorry"

In its purest form, "sorry" is born of sorrow. Here's the thing...we say it ALL the time! We use "I'm sorry" or the shortened version of simply, "sorry," as a reflex, rather than a conveyance of feeling.

So, what's the problem with "sorry?" From the teachings of a Theta Healer, I discovered that this word affirms a message I am uninterested in putting out to the universe. As she explained, "Each of us is a spark of the creator. Every time we say 'I'm sorry' the universe hears this as a claim that we are sorry beings. The message says: we don't fully take in and appreciate the amazing gift each of is offered by existing in these bodies; we don't inherently understand that what every one of us has to share, as a unique spark, is special and meant to be treasured. You matter! Stop saying sorry!"

This teaching spoke to me as a Truth. What, though, am I permitted to say instead? In asking the question, I realized how homogenized "sorry" had become for me. Depending upon what YOU mean, here are some alternatives, if you'd like to switch out your sorry:

I feel sad...
I am filled with sorrow...
I apologize...
Please excuse me...
Oops!

There are many more options. I'd love to hear some of yours!

"Try"

While I love P!nk, Yoda wins this one for me: "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." Because often, this is the message hidden within: "Well, I'm a victim here, but I'm trying!"

I don't know about you, but I would like to begin by choosing my empowerment, rather than victim-hood. My sense is that we use "try" often from a submissive and victimized state of mind. We seem to insist something has power over us, and the best we can do is "try" to manage. From that space, we hold a lack of conviction in our willingness to persevere and our ability to learn.

While it's a real thing to say, "My child is trying (testing) my patience," without personal objection from me. I have one favorite use of the word try: "I am trying it on!" I love this notion.

We genuinely cannot know what something feels like before we experience it, whether it's a new pair of shoes, a meditation practice, or a shift in language consciousness. That's what I love about "trying it on" - it's a sense of giving it a go - from a place of excitement and wonder. The intention and message within "trying it on" feels so enlivened to me, versus the flatness and victim-space I believe Yoda refuses to tolerate.

I invite you to "try on!" any one or all of these language shifts. It may be that you have one or two of your own; I'd be interested to learn of them. What we put out the universe matters. Words are born of beliefs, and ultimately become actions, even if only as vibrating ripples in this pond we are all swimming in. For me, it's important to have a care with what I'm putting in.

With love and conscious language,
Joanne Lutz