Bear In The Tree
The day after my husband and I moved to our current home (nearly three years ago), I sat at the kitchen counter eating lunch and gazing out the window. To my astonishment, I saw a bear in the tree of our front yard. Well, not a real bear, obviously, I mean I live in the suburbs of Boston! But, to me, it was a clear image of a bear face in the knots of a tree directly in my visual path. I couldn't unsee it. I asked my husband and friends what they thought of the bear, and only a few could even find my bear, yet to me, it was so incredibly obvious.
I've long been a fan of Jamie Sams' and David Carson's Medicine Cards book (complete with a deck of illustrated animal cards). Inspired by my personal bear, I checked the book to see what "medicine" this creature might be offering me. The Bear represents "Introspection."
The book is set up to offer two medicines for each card. If you draw a card and the image appears right side up, one description applies. If the image is upside down, a different medicine supports you. Of course, my Bear was in a tree, so I read both to discern what fit.
This is a portion of the "CONTRARY" medicine: "In seeking answers or advice from others, you may have placed your own feelings and knowing aside. The time has come to regain your authority, for no one knows better than yourself what is proper and timely for your evolution...only through being your own advisor can you attain your true goals. Anything less than the doing of that which gives you the most joy is denial. To achieve happiness you must know yourself. To know yourself is to know your body, your mind, and your spirit. Use your strengths to overcome your weaknesses and know that both are necessary in your evolution..."
Over the following months and years, I broke away from long time advisors and sought out new guides to support the discovery of my own inner counsel. Activities and relationships that no longer brought the "most joy" fell by the wayside. I increased my meditation and prayer practices (the latter of which had barely existed), and I began to learn the difference between my thoughts and feelings - in turn getting to know myself in a whole new way. This is an on-going process, and through it, I continually uncover what I truly want, and what feels okay to me vs. what does not. I'm learning, with far greater clarity, what dreams I have, and that they may manifest in ways I'd not foreseen. I've discovered that they unfold in ways I never would have guessed, and if I mind my own business, and stay true to my inner practices, life opens possibilities far greater than the dreams I conceived.
For example, in these 2.5 years, I led my first and second retreats in Costa Rica (Embracing Magic). A retreat in Pennsylvania (Trusting the Magic), and most recently the Calling in the Muse retreat in Leyden, MA. Once upon a time, I had never conceived of creating and leading retreats. Now, it is one of the most delicious aspects of my professional life. My coaching practice continues to grow, as I do; the long-term coaching group I've facilitated has been filled to capacity for years; and I am happier in my personal life than I've ever been.
Despite lots of fear and other uncomfortable feelings, I keep nudging myself to stretch my comfort zone, and then stretch it some more. I believe it is yet another way of getting to know myself better. As you may remember, last year this included taking yoga classes and my solo trip to South Africa. This year, I am going back to South Africa for a longer stint in autumn, but first - in just a few short weeks (eek!) - I'll be rafting through the Grand Canyon with my husband and a group of strangers for 8 days. This means camping...a WEEK of camping! I've never been camping. I'm not a pee in the woods kind of gal. I like my warm showers and traditional ablution facilities, plus, you know, a BED! But this year my stretching includes camping and white water. Yikes...I mean Yay! Sort of.
Ah, Bear, I am grateful for your medicine. With your lessons, I am slowly (and at times stubbornly) evolving. And throughout the process, I am learning to know myself.
The grounds at Spirit Fire Retreat Center.
As I mentioned, I have newly finished leading the Calling in the Muse retreat. I couldn't have asked for a better venue (Spirit Fire Retreat Center), more lovingly prepared food (Tim and Steve are geniuses in the kitchen!), or a more courageous group of participants with a willingness to dive deeply into our musing adventure. Nature supported us with beautiful weather; the property offered lovely trails; and the creatures of the area sang to us in every way imaginable (from birds and frogs to sheep and coyotes), both as we attuned to our inner wisdom, and as we sang out in return.
Our last night, we sat around the fire pit. While we practiced calling in the muse, to my left, I heard a creature in woods. In the darkness, I knew birds were unlikely - plus, how big might these birds be?! In my heart, I knew it was a bear. My head firmly argued that there was no way a bear would be so nearby us, and so close to a town! But my heart insisted, and I held reverent space for the possibility of Bear, free of fear.
The next morning, the participants spoke with our facility hosts about the noises. The hosts explained, "Yeah, there's a young bear that lives nearby. We heard it when we got the fire started, but we didn't want to scare you. It's never been a problem." My heart sang with delight! I loved that I'd been so close to an actual Bear - one that made its presence known, while generating no fear or sense of alarm in me - just curiosity and appreciation. Perhaps even more so, because the bear in my tree has disappeared with the weather and growth of the tree. I guess, at some point, I received the message and absorbed the medicine I needed.
In the Sams/Carson book, another aspect of the Bear description is this: "To accomplish the goals and dreams that we carry, the art of introspection is necessary...If we choose to believe that there are many questions to life, we must also believe that the answers to these questions reside within us. Each and every being has the capacity to quiet the mind, enter the silence, and know...In choosing Bear, the power of knowing has invited you to enter the silence and become acquainted with the Dream Lodge, so that your goals may become concrete realities."
Dear Bear, I thank you - again - for the wisdom and gifts of your medicine. I hope we honored you well last weekend.
Sweet reader, may you, too, find Bear medicine in your life - going within the silence to manifest your dreams and desires; learning about yourself in new ways, that you may live in abundant joy.
With much love,
Joanne Lutz