Lamps and Gatekeepers
My husband reads part of a "good for you" book everyday at breakfast. For two weeks, the book on the porch table was "The Aladdin Factor" by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen. I stared at it for those fourteen days, before I finally picked it up. Then, I couldn't put it down. In addition to some fun and provocative exercises, the book is filled with anecdotal stories of what people believe about asking for help and the amazing things that happen when we move through the fear that blocks us and request what we want.
This read dovetailed nicely with a recent audio presentation I listened to of "Supercoach" author, Michael Neill. He spoke of the "internal gatekeeper" that lives within each of us. This voice prevents us from asking for something in anticipation of what the answer might be. So rather than meeting the real life gatekeeper who guards the castle or sits at the reception desk, we engage the protector within who keeps us from feeling badly about someone telling us "no." In turn, we simply never take the outward action step to ask for the help, kindness, dinner date, discount, or support we would like.
I sometimes have trouble asking for what I want or need. My internal gatekeeper adamantly holds me back from making the query, particularly when my vulnerability feels at stake. Other times, I ask but not with my true voice. Unfailingly, my attempts to morph my language into what I believe someone else may want to hear, rather than what is completely true to me, falls flat. My experience with Michael Neill's Creating the Impossible program in July was an excellent reminder for me - a reminder of the gatekeeper...the chameleon...and the power of my own true, vulnerable voice.
As part of my personal "Impossible" goal, I invited Michael Neill to join The Consciousness Collaborative. His talent, charisma, and wisdom would be greatly welcomed by the existing members and I believe you, as part of our community, would have tremendous appreciation for what he offers. In return, Michael would have the opportunity to grow his audience by 10%, simply by saying "yes."
It took me a couple of weeks to get past my internal gatekeeper, even to pose the question. Once I did, my first attempt at asking him was dreadful! It almost could have been one of those canned letters you pay for on the internet. Truly, chameleon mode does not work for me!
Then I had the benefit of working with a dynamic coach from Belgium, studying as Michael's apprentice this year. Cecile Chabot listened to my enthusiasm, compared it to my invitation, and asked me over and over, "why didn't you say THAT in the letter?" Encouraged by Cecile's clarity, I sent Michael a private email in my own true voice. The moment I hit the send key, I felt completely in me. It was the difference between walking around wearing a sticky Halloween mask and the feeling of a freshly washed face.
The result of my letter to him (you may read it here), was an offer from Michael Neill to host a one hour free teleclass for our community! This incredible opportunity, while not what I had requested, manifested from the combination of my willingness to take a risk, and Michael's generosity. If the internal gatekeeper and the chameleon ruled the day, I would not be able to share this exciting news with you.
Because this process held such power for me, I'd like to share with you a key ingredient I learned to successfully asking for whatever I may want. I allow myself ask and then let go of any attachment to the result. By releasing any held expectations, I am free to ask for anything. Since practicing this mysterious recipe is still new, it feels both daring and fun. I encourage you to give it a try. If it helps, imagine you've just rubbed Aladdin's lamp and the genie has appeared before you...now, you do the magic part...and ask!
In my true voice,
Joanne Lutz